Turns out I am not very good at this whole blogging thing! I am working on it though. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of talking to doctors and the insurance company but I am now officially scheduled for surgery on June 8th! The thought of that actually makes me so nervous I feel like I'm going to vomit.
So far this has been an interesting experience. I would have to say that if I could start it over, I would try and give myself more time and set my expectations of how quickly things will happen a little lower. It is a process and can take a long time. I feel that I've spent more time focusing on getting paperwork done than preparing myself for surgery and life after surgery. I am glad to know that there are support groups available to me, but again I wish I had given myself more time to plan and adjust my thinking to what my new lifestyle will be.
Something else that doesn't help matters is the closer the date gets, and the more I talk about it, the less supportive my closest family seems to be. I am nervous and having second thoughts, wondering if this is really a decision I can live with forever. It is not helpful to have my mother yelling at me that OMG I can never have soda and white bread or pasta again and am I really sure I can do that and maybe I should try something else first before I have surgery.... nor is it helpful to hear my husband tell me that I basically have no willpower and that is why I ended up this size. He claims he is supportive, but it doesn't feel like it to me. We can barely have a normal conversation let alone a serious one about anything.
I feel like I've run out of people to talk to! I did meet a really nice lady who is also having surgery a couple days before me and she hasn't even told her family because it's something she is doing for herself and she doesn't want to have to explain her decision to anyone. I am wishing I had thought of that one myself. The little bit of talking to her over the last few days has helped me the most and she is a virtual stranger! I think she thinks I am insane... I've been asking a lot of questions (sorry).
I have a lot to think about and prepare for in the next 9 days.
